Back in the Saddle Again

Lately I've been saying to myself, as well as those around me, that I should blog. I should. I really should. I do in my head.

So here we are, nearly 2 years out from gastric bypass and I've lost ALL of my weight plus about 10 lbs. It's been an incredible journey, I've had a lot of life changes, but overall I'm a super healthy person with a new lease on life. We lost our foster kiddos last year, but after losing my 100th pound I became pregnant with my now 6 month old son Jaksen. But if you're reading this, you probably know me and know all this.

I have thrown around ideas of what I'd like this blog to become. Before, it was a journal of my journey. I haven't reached the end of my journey as there is still air in my lungs and blood beating through my heart, but it's the end of a chapter. As with a book when you finish a chapter you don't start a new book, you keep going, and I will keep going with this blog. Instead of physically shrinking (hopefully I'm done there - no one needs to be too skinny!) I will mentally shrink myself even without a PhD in psych behind my name. Yeah, that sounds weird. Whatever - it's MY blog! :)

Almost Spring Break

Wow, this semester has felt kind of looney. We have a lot of stuff going on with the kids as well as a new job for me, newly full time teaching for my husband, weight loss, home improvements, oh, and did I mention I'm a full time student? Sometimes sitting and writing feels so - blah. I do so much writing already.

Okay, enough whining and crying.

So how am I? I'm doing great!! It feels really good to be weighing in the 185 range. I've started to run which has been AMAZING. I've never liked to run. If you ask my dad he'll tell you that I just don't like to sweat. That's true. It's different now though because I can do it. I couldn't do it before but I can now. I run about 3-4 times a week and can run about 1 mile without stopping. It's taken me several weeks to work up to that and I probably pushed myself harder than I should have.

I am upset with myself this week though. I haven't been running because 1) the time change means my safe, pre-mapped out route isn't open at the only time I can run and 2) we've had non-stop pouring rain for over a week now. My friend Fernando told me I needed to get out there anyway because "runners run in all sorts of conditions" and that's true. I'm a casual runner now and don't care to get drenched. You should see this rain. Today it hailed so much that my lawn looks like it got a fresh blanket of snow. Maybe I should just get a jogging stroller to push my little guy in, weather permitting, because the stroller I have now I would probably hurt myself on. Any other suggestions?

I'm able to eat pretty much whatever I want at this point, however I still DO NOT tolerate eggs. If they're cooked in something like bread it's no big deal. But scrambled, hard boiled, fried, quiche.... no thanks. :)

SORRY!

Wow, I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted. It's been a crazy month with a lot going on. Iv'e thought about my blog plenty and keep planning to write, but between being back to work, moving, and now writing papers for school, I just haven't made time.

As far as my weight loss is concerned, I'm still decreasing though not as rapidly these last several weeks. In fact, since I've gone back to work I hadn't lost anything until yesterday and I finally saw a 5 pound decrease. What has been happening, I believe, is that with the new increase in activity my body has been holding on to whatever it can and not letting pounds go until I stabilized a little. Well I've been back to work for nearly 3 weeks now so it's nice to finally see some movement on the scale. I'm at 201 now, so just a little over a pound until I'm finally BELOW 200. My first goal was to lose 50 lbs. My second is to get to 199. My third is to lose 100 lbs, and my last is to get to my goal weight.

I need a new picture so I will be working on that this week. I got a new computer too and I need to order a cable to get pics off my camera and onto my Macbook since I no longer have a memory card reader. Booooo!

For now I must scamper off to bed to be ready for work on the morning. Thrilling.

That Poor Dear

Today I went grocery shopping. It's a task I actually enjoy now as I can look at food, reminisce, and move along. I went to look at the pastas... yum! But no. I also saw the soda... delicious! But nope. There was an endcap of chips and cheez-whiz... oh boy! Um, no, not that either. I did not buy myself cookies, cakes, ice cream, smoked gouda & crackers, pizza pockets, etc, but I did get a bottle of water.

As I was leaving I saw a girl about my age, perhaps a little older, getting out of her car. She was quite heavy but the thing that struck me was her oxygen tank she had to carry with her. Of course I do not know her circumstances, perhaps she has a lung disease or some other issue, but I can't help but put myself in her shoes and wonder when I, too, would need an oxygen tank had I not had gastric bypass. I would get winded halfway through one shopping trip and now I call it an easy day if I only have 5 errands to run while toting kids along. I easily go through my day without thinking about it but days like today happen and I remember where I came from and how far I've come so quickly.

I've stated over and over about the freedom from weight and I truly mean it. When I went to Target the other day I looked at the clothes and thought - I can actually shop in regular sizes and not bound to the PLUS. I'll probably have to get an XL but the point is I am able to shop in the regular cute sections and not have to find my way to the back of the women's clothes area next to the maternity wear. (Oh, this is CUTE! Oh, it's maternity... of course it is.)

This picture I weighed in at 219.4. I'm wearing my size 16 jeans which I haven't worn since I was abou t 17 or 18.

Let THEM Eat Cake

It is with great sadness and an equal amount of joy that I note Christmas is behind us. I got through the holiday cheer with little to no issues or temptation of goodies and I was able to see a 4 pound weight loss. My energy levels were up, I enjoyed company, and delighted in my children’s faces as they opened up each gift.

Did gastric bypass hinder my celebrations? NO. I was free from:

-Overindulging thus encouraging a loosening of the belt buckles or changing into sweats. I’ve lost 54 pounds. I need a tighter belt.

-Being embarrassed in pictures. I’m still overweight but don’t care as much because I’m doing something about it.

-Needing to take a nap during special holidays because my weight eats my energy. I ran circles around my very thin brother!

-Spending more money on dinner/dessert when I don’t need it anyway. I just ordered soup and took tiny bites off others’ plates with permission -- most of the time.

-Feeling bad that once again I didn’t lose weight this year.

-Empty fridge from over eating. My fridge is stock full of the leftovers that should have existed in previous years.

Back in October I was a little saddened knowing that I would be having the surgery before Thanksgiving, Christmas, my 30^th birthday, and New Years. I knew I would not be able to partake in the extreme feasting that goes on and felt that I would be left out. Obviously I was proved wrong at Thanksgiving as I’d posted before. I was proved wrong once again during Christmas and my birthday (which will be over in 1 hour as I write this blog).

How I Survived Christmas:

On Christmas morning we were joined by my brother and sister-in-law who were visiting from Southern California. My kids loved having them around and it was nice to be around family for the holidays. I made our traditional cinnamon rolls for everyone. They looked and smelled amazing. (Hey, out of a can you can’t go wrong! Unless you burn them…) I had ONE bite and I used one of my baby’s spoons to cut the bite out so you know it was tiny. I ate my regular cottage cheese and drank water while everyone else drank OJ. For dinner I made lasagna using my great-grandmother’s spaghetti sauce recipe. Again, I had ONE bite and stopped. We made a “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake and I didn’t try it. The smell was so sweet that I felt like I’d had 5 slices.

There have been a number of times when I’ve felt like binging as soon as no one was looking, kind of like I used to. Of course the consequences are a bit gross (I’m really getting tired of vomiting) and so that helps the temptation. Part of me didn’t want to make anything I would be interested in but instead I decided to pull it together and do what I really enjoy doing – cooking delicious food for others. It was a great satisfaction to spend 6 hours cooking Grandma’s spaghetti sauce even though I didn’t get to indulge as before because my family enjoyed and appreciated it. I enjoyed baking the birthday cake with my daughter because she enjoyed spending the time with me “helping”.

Gastric bypassers, don’t feel like you have to withhold the goods unless you absolutely cannot resist. Instead, go for it for your family and let THEM eat the cake!

Size Is Just A Number...

... but it's a number I'm liking! Today I was able to pull on - and button - a size 16 pair of jeans. I haven't worn that size since... hmmmm... maybe right after graduating from high school?They're still a little too tight to wear on an every day basis, but they buttoned and zipped up!

This isn't me, but I sure feel like this.

Oh My, How You've Changed...

The best feeling so far was when my coworker, whom I love dearly, literally did not recognize me. Granted, the last time she saw me I was still a brunette (blond now). With having a different hair cut, color, and a significant weight loss I've looked different than I ever have in a short period of time.

The Christmas season is now upon us. Actually, today is Christmas Eve and I was remembering this morning that my blog has been somewhat neglected. That's ok - with all the stress in my life of moving, not moving, moving, not moving, things have been chaotic to say the least. My weight loss continues to move at a good pace. I had an almost 2 week stall when I started really working out but I've since seen a drop. This morning I weighed in at 224.6 which means I've now lost over 50 lbs since beginning my pre-op liquid diet. That's a great feeling! My next installment of "How I Survived" at the end of the blog.

I notice I have significantly more energy. My husband and I went antique shopping the other day and I never really got super tired and we were out for nearly the entire day. We had a quick lunch at one of our favorite pubs.

Each day I continue to learn more about this surgery and how it effects my body in various ways. It matters to ever inch of my body, every organ. Yesterday I had a nasty bout of nausea and vomiting (something I deal with on a nearly daily basis though it doesn't bother me anymore.) I could tell by about 4pm that my body was lacking everything - protein, carbs, and water. I wasn't able to get enough protein in my days end, but I was glad I could drink water by the time I went to bed!

How I Survived Christmas Goodies:

I couldn't NOT bake. It's my first Christmas with my kids (as they were only placed with us in May) and I have really wanted to bake treats for them. "What's the point?" you ask? Satisfaction, really. The smells of Christmas are divine. I made these delicious chocolate peppermint pinwheel cookies and when I was taking them off the cookie sheet, one broke and I had a small bite. It was enough to satisfy me and I didn't have any of the "dumping syndrome" you hear so much about with gastric bypass. (Everyone is different, so don't take my experience as a license to go bananas.) I also made muddy buddies, mostly as a special Christmas snack for my kids. I had a few of those as well and it was enough to keep my cravings at bay. This is what I'd always hoped for myself - a tiny taste that satisfies without consuming the entire cookie tin. A taste is okay. It won't make me gain unwanted pounds back and I won't have the temptation of "sneaking". I sometimes wish I could eat with reckless abandon, but that's how I got to gastric bypass to begin with.

How I Survived Lunch Out:

This was more of a challenge than I thought. Soups have been a saving grace at times. We went to the Post Office Saloon and Grill for lunch. The only soup they had was creamy chicken noodle and they also had chili (beans are great for protein!) but it had ground beef in it which should be avoided. I went with the creamy chicken noodle and a small salad. I had 2 bits of salad - dressing on the side - and 3 spoonfuls of soup before the pressure set in and I knew it was time to stop. The poor waitress thought something was wrong! I did make the mistake of ordering iced tea and I think I drank far more than I should have because I could have had more food instead. I think I'll have to re-do this "How I Survived" when I do better next time!

And last but not least, here is my updated picture. It turned out SUPER bright and it looks like I'm not wearing anything under my purple sweater. Oh well. :)