Let THEM Eat Cake

It is with great sadness and an equal amount of joy that I note Christmas is behind us. I got through the holiday cheer with little to no issues or temptation of goodies and I was able to see a 4 pound weight loss. My energy levels were up, I enjoyed company, and delighted in my children’s faces as they opened up each gift.

Did gastric bypass hinder my celebrations? NO. I was free from:

-Overindulging thus encouraging a loosening of the belt buckles or changing into sweats. I’ve lost 54 pounds. I need a tighter belt.

-Being embarrassed in pictures. I’m still overweight but don’t care as much because I’m doing something about it.

-Needing to take a nap during special holidays because my weight eats my energy. I ran circles around my very thin brother!

-Spending more money on dinner/dessert when I don’t need it anyway. I just ordered soup and took tiny bites off others’ plates with permission -- most of the time.

-Feeling bad that once again I didn’t lose weight this year.

-Empty fridge from over eating. My fridge is stock full of the leftovers that should have existed in previous years.

Back in October I was a little saddened knowing that I would be having the surgery before Thanksgiving, Christmas, my 30^th birthday, and New Years. I knew I would not be able to partake in the extreme feasting that goes on and felt that I would be left out. Obviously I was proved wrong at Thanksgiving as I’d posted before. I was proved wrong once again during Christmas and my birthday (which will be over in 1 hour as I write this blog).

How I Survived Christmas:

On Christmas morning we were joined by my brother and sister-in-law who were visiting from Southern California. My kids loved having them around and it was nice to be around family for the holidays. I made our traditional cinnamon rolls for everyone. They looked and smelled amazing. (Hey, out of a can you can’t go wrong! Unless you burn them…) I had ONE bite and I used one of my baby’s spoons to cut the bite out so you know it was tiny. I ate my regular cottage cheese and drank water while everyone else drank OJ. For dinner I made lasagna using my great-grandmother’s spaghetti sauce recipe. Again, I had ONE bite and stopped. We made a “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake and I didn’t try it. The smell was so sweet that I felt like I’d had 5 slices.

There have been a number of times when I’ve felt like binging as soon as no one was looking, kind of like I used to. Of course the consequences are a bit gross (I’m really getting tired of vomiting) and so that helps the temptation. Part of me didn’t want to make anything I would be interested in but instead I decided to pull it together and do what I really enjoy doing – cooking delicious food for others. It was a great satisfaction to spend 6 hours cooking Grandma’s spaghetti sauce even though I didn’t get to indulge as before because my family enjoyed and appreciated it. I enjoyed baking the birthday cake with my daughter because she enjoyed spending the time with me “helping”.

Gastric bypassers, don’t feel like you have to withhold the goods unless you absolutely cannot resist. Instead, go for it for your family and let THEM eat the cake!

Size Is Just A Number...

... but it's a number I'm liking! Today I was able to pull on - and button - a size 16 pair of jeans. I haven't worn that size since... hmmmm... maybe right after graduating from high school?They're still a little too tight to wear on an every day basis, but they buttoned and zipped up!

This isn't me, but I sure feel like this.

Oh My, How You've Changed...

The best feeling so far was when my coworker, whom I love dearly, literally did not recognize me. Granted, the last time she saw me I was still a brunette (blond now). With having a different hair cut, color, and a significant weight loss I've looked different than I ever have in a short period of time.

The Christmas season is now upon us. Actually, today is Christmas Eve and I was remembering this morning that my blog has been somewhat neglected. That's ok - with all the stress in my life of moving, not moving, moving, not moving, things have been chaotic to say the least. My weight loss continues to move at a good pace. I had an almost 2 week stall when I started really working out but I've since seen a drop. This morning I weighed in at 224.6 which means I've now lost over 50 lbs since beginning my pre-op liquid diet. That's a great feeling! My next installment of "How I Survived" at the end of the blog.

I notice I have significantly more energy. My husband and I went antique shopping the other day and I never really got super tired and we were out for nearly the entire day. We had a quick lunch at one of our favorite pubs.

Each day I continue to learn more about this surgery and how it effects my body in various ways. It matters to ever inch of my body, every organ. Yesterday I had a nasty bout of nausea and vomiting (something I deal with on a nearly daily basis though it doesn't bother me anymore.) I could tell by about 4pm that my body was lacking everything - protein, carbs, and water. I wasn't able to get enough protein in my days end, but I was glad I could drink water by the time I went to bed!

How I Survived Christmas Goodies:

I couldn't NOT bake. It's my first Christmas with my kids (as they were only placed with us in May) and I have really wanted to bake treats for them. "What's the point?" you ask? Satisfaction, really. The smells of Christmas are divine. I made these delicious chocolate peppermint pinwheel cookies and when I was taking them off the cookie sheet, one broke and I had a small bite. It was enough to satisfy me and I didn't have any of the "dumping syndrome" you hear so much about with gastric bypass. (Everyone is different, so don't take my experience as a license to go bananas.) I also made muddy buddies, mostly as a special Christmas snack for my kids. I had a few of those as well and it was enough to keep my cravings at bay. This is what I'd always hoped for myself - a tiny taste that satisfies without consuming the entire cookie tin. A taste is okay. It won't make me gain unwanted pounds back and I won't have the temptation of "sneaking". I sometimes wish I could eat with reckless abandon, but that's how I got to gastric bypass to begin with.

How I Survived Lunch Out:

This was more of a challenge than I thought. Soups have been a saving grace at times. We went to the Post Office Saloon and Grill for lunch. The only soup they had was creamy chicken noodle and they also had chili (beans are great for protein!) but it had ground beef in it which should be avoided. I went with the creamy chicken noodle and a small salad. I had 2 bits of salad - dressing on the side - and 3 spoonfuls of soup before the pressure set in and I knew it was time to stop. The poor waitress thought something was wrong! I did make the mistake of ordering iced tea and I think I drank far more than I should have because I could have had more food instead. I think I'll have to re-do this "How I Survived" when I do better next time!

And last but not least, here is my updated picture. It turned out SUPER bright and it looks like I'm not wearing anything under my purple sweater. Oh well. :)

What did I do?!

I've mentioned before that I've asked this question of myself a number of times. Most of the time my questioning comes about 2 hours before bedtime because that is when I feel the worst. I usually have taken a bite of something I made for dinner and it sits in my stomach. I've determined that despite taking small bites, chewing and chewing and chewing, my tiny tummy still doesn't like solid foods. I think the food gets to the bottom of my stomach, gets ready to pass into my small intestine and just sits there. Then the spasms start, trying to move the food down, and instead moves the food... well... up and out. If my husband didn't know better, he'd think I was bulimic, no doubt.

I have a friend who is having the lapband "installed" in just a few days and this morning she posted she is emotional. Now, I'm not sure if it's because of the impending surgery, but I automatically assumed it is.

I remember when I was 10 days from surgery and how tough the liquid diet was. Actually I cheated. I felt like such a failure because I had been working SO HARD towards getting the surgery that 10 days pre op was not the time to give into cravings and temptations. How long have I given into temptations? I remember being 18, hanging out with my friend Elizabeth and we'd make midnight runs to Jack in the Box for chicken strips and strawberry soda. Those years are when I really started to gain some weight. I gave in over and over and over again. I feel like that is something I've gained control of post-op. I look at the food, crave it, but I don't let it anywhere near my mouth for fear of the after effects.

As far as being emotional - uh huh! It's such a big decision. If you're researching this incredible life change, know it is a hugely emotional thing. If you're overweight just imagine the freedom of being released from the bond of weight. Maybe you're like me and you simply can't imagine but you'd like to. Do something -- attend a seminar, learn about the bariatric diet, go to Weight Watchers. You don't need to let weight weigh you down. Know that you are not alone.

Leggings - do or don't?

Today I took my first shopping trip post gastric bypass. I looked online at dresses at Kohl's because I was looking for a long sweater/sweater dress that I could wear with leggings and a belt around the middle. It's quite out of character for me as I have not worn leggings since I was in junior high and believe that heavier women should not partake in legging wearing. With that being said, I've completed my fair share of fashion education and decided to give it a whirl.

Before gastric bypass, okay even now, I get so disgusted with plus size clothing. There are so many things that could be flattering on heavier women and those things aren't flowered muumuus, shapeless blouses and corduroy-like sweat pants. There are young women who are plus sized and there isn't enough to wear for us. Oh wait, Lane Bryant and Avenue are the exceptions. Then you have the "plus size" clothes at places like Target. Their version of 2x is actually just a regular L.

Anyway, back to my story. Today was my first shopping trip. I found the dress I was looking for in the junior section. Ugh, I KNEW it wouldn't fit. I got the extra large and tried it on and guess what? It fit! It wasn't very flattering, but -- IT. FIT. I examined the clothes closer in that particular section and realized that they were not constructed to hold the - ahem - larger bust that women tend to have. I went over to the "misses" section and browsed. The clothes were better constructed and so I went crazy just pulling things. Everything I tried on in XL fit perfectly. Some things were more snug, some just didn't look right, but it's that way no matter where you go, right? For fun, I also pulled a 1X of something from the "plus" (plus what?!) section. It was baggy, frumpy and incredibly unflattering. I ended up with 3 new sweaters, and I found a sweater dress which I'd gone to buy anyway. It wasn't the exact one, but it is a pretty purple. I also bought a pair of leggings. Yes, I did. When I tried the entire outfit on at home and showed my hubby, I received a nice smile and "wow!"

1 month post op pic

This pic was taken 12/2. I weighed 235.8 this morning.

1 month and 1 day post op

It's hard to believe it's been a month since surgery. This morning I weighed in at 235.8, so I'm 100 pounds away from my goal. I know it is still a long road with some bumps sure to come, but I'm feeling good about it! Noah will take a picture of me tonight, I promise!

Yesterday I took a walk with a good friend of mine. I took my toddler and pushed him in the umbrella stroller. It was the furthest and most physically intensive I've been post op. I was winded, but not like before. I felt so alive!

How I survive regular days (before going back to work):

It has been hard to really pinpoint my daily routine and diet because it frequently changes. I notice that overall I feel better when I drink liquids only. For so long I couldn't wait to eat regular food and I can't believe I actually can say that. Yogurt, cream of wheat, and my new fruit smoothies seem to just make my tiny tummy feel the best. Last night I made guacamole which was really delicious. I had 2 chips with a bit of "the goods", but it felt like it got stuck - not a good feeling. Eventually the feeling passes (may take up to 20 minutes to pass) but in the mean time I always wonder if it's going to come up because I've had that happen a number of times. Pre-op people, keep this in mind so I don't have to tell you "I told you so". Although chewing and crunching are more satisfactory mentally, physically sometimes it just isn't worth it.

Smoothies - yes. So Dole and Jamba Juice have a new line of frozen chopped fruit mixes. I picked up the Strawberry-Banana-Pineapple mix from Dole and the Crazy Strawberry from Jamba. I blend one cup of the mixture with about a cup of sugar free apple juice (milk is still just a bit too heavy for me), 3 ice cubes, and 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder (26g protein). I have had zero adverse reactions (read - dumping syndrome!) and it's easy to go down. I hardly taste the protein powder which is great because I've hated protein powder post-op. I have enough for breakfast and lunch. I've been also eating cottage cheese and then try to eat something with my family in the evening.

The thing they tell you is that you eat all the time after surgery because you have to eat such small amounts. I don't feel like this at all. I was a big snacker before and for me to say I feel like I'm not eating all the time is good for me. I have no appetite and no feelings of hunger so I treat food intake like vitamins - you just have to do it.